Yes, fat man went crazy this weekend.
I agree with Tom: I'm glad this happened. It helped me to realize that I am an emotional eater.
Saturday, I moped around and pigged out for supper. I thought my stomach was gonna explode. I had half of a Little Caesar's Pepperoni pizza, 10 mild chicken wings, and 1/2 of a large order of ranch fries from a local drive thru. Also, I drank one liter of Pepsi One. Essentially, I binged.
And to finalize a crappy food weekend, I ate a sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit meal from McDonald's this morning.
I was depressed and didn't care anymore.
I don't feel too guilty about it. I will do good the rest of the weekend and have a great week, but I've got to do something about this depression. Plans change, and I don't need to be a baby about it.
There's a great book on how to fight depression: "Feeling Good The New Mood Therapy" by David D. Burns M.D. He explains different techniques to fight depression. I can't afford counseling anymore, so here's some of my faulty logic:
First, before I get started I want to explain that I have battled depression off and on for years. I used to go to counseling, and then I requested anti-depressants. There's got to be something wrong with me. I mean look at me: I got up to 632 lbs!
One irrational thought that I've had this weekend is: "What if the Talladega thing falls through? I don't think I could survive that." The problem with this logic is that I'm losing weight for the wrong reasons. It's fun to have challenges, but I should be losing weight for myself. Even losing 100 pounds has changed my life for the better. I have more energy now. It has improved my quality of life.
"My friend and his wife must not want to hang out with me" WRONG! - They just had plans and he (like most men) doesn't know what his wife has planned for the weekend.
"Well I guess this golf thing was never meant to happen." - Fiddle Faddle, I ran late on Friday because of work, and my friend had some plans that he didn't know about. Plans change. We'll schedule a golf outing one day; besides, I need to get some lessons and practice in before actually going out to play a full round. This will increase my chances of liking the game.
I'm feeling better after writing those few bits of my faulty logic. Now, my hope is that my friends (both online and local) don't think that I am completely nuts.
I thought I would share this stuff with everybody because:
1. Depression is one of the most common problems, and maybe this will help some folks.
2. Maybe you guys have some thoughts about the logic. Maybe y'all can help me.
3. We're in this together. We have to accept the good with the bad.
Okay, now lets talk about some fun stuff.
Pre-season NFL starts tonight. Buffalo Bills vs. Tennessee Titans. They're playing at Fawcett Stadium in Ohio. It's the Hall of Fame game. Mentioning football makes me happy. I can already feel the cool weather.
I bought "Golf for Dummies" to help with my non-existent golf game. I will call the golf instructor tomorrow to re-schedule, and hopefully put in a little practice every week. Like I said, I live three blocks away from a driving range. They also have a par three course and practice greens for putting.
I will weigh in tomorrow, but I'm not gonna weigh in again for another month because I'm gonna start lifting weights, and when I start this my weight will go up, and it discourages me. Hopefully things will equalize after four weeks. To help with my workouts I bought Fitness for Dummies, and of course I will be blogging everything that I do.
You know I've got that 5k in Feb, and I believe I have found another one in March. So next year I'm gonna be busy.
I'm gonna put all of my energy and efforts in for those 5ks. Whatever happens with the Talladega thing happens. Good or Bad.
Later today I will enter my foods and exercise for next week on the food and exercise diary.
Have a good Sunday. We'll see how much weight I gained in the morning. I wonder what it'll be. Five pounds, ten pounds, fifteen plus pounds?
View my food diary at: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/svinson6
View my exercise diary at: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/exercise/diary/svinson6